In the midst of you hurting

It's so sad that your words of anger, frustration and insult still lingers around my mind after I've forgiven you.Which reminds me of the saying that goes 'forgive but never forget.' Sometimes, it's not that we choose to remember it, but the actions or words of the person sticks around for quite a long time because of how much it has impacted you.

It has become a norm for me to have no desire for company. I feel like I was alone, like I did before I had anyone. Starting tonight, I no longer need anyone, because needing someone is dependency and it hurts so much not because of the person can't be there but they are there angry and frustrated. It's the way you and I communicate, there's something wrong in my words and actions if I've caused you to become angry, most of the time it's the misinterpretations. Now, I can't even feel comfortable to tell you how I feel because I'm so terrified of how you might react to all of this
You would scold me again and tell me how useless I am because crying is all I can do, needing you is all I am and I have no plans and I don't keep myself busy.
so I'll keep my lips shut tight and post this on the day when I'm over it.