A few weeks ago, I overheard a radio station discussing about this topic, from the moment they asked their listeners this question, I thought to myself that it was an obvious answer; it was out of insecurity. Why ? I have experienced this huge problem in my life, it has haunt my every waking moment. I realized I couldn't stand the thought of my boyfriend associating with someone better looking than me and yes it sounds ridiculous now that I have came to a realization. I would feel like I'm not attractive, I would feel sorry for myself and say things that brings myself down, I would lose myself over this trains of thoughts.
Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, concern and anxiety over an anticipated loss or status of something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection
Now, jealousy is a typical experience in human relationships but it is not encouraged to have this negative emotion and I've learned well to get out of this horrible enclosed space because it's a destructive emotion if left unsolved .
1. To get out of this mess was to stop comparing myself to others, yes it's easier said than done but think about this, there are always better looking, richer, funnier, smarter, younger people around than just about all of us, but these are qualities of a 'product'. If he or she loves you, it will be because of an extra, indefinable quality you have
that they couldn't even explain
2. Trust my partner, it's been said that trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. It's very insulting for my partner to have me always doubting their words or decency of behaviour. Constant questioning by the jealous partner can even be as destructive as having an affair in the long run.
3. Prepare to lose my partner, to love someone properly, we need to be prepared to lose them. Not all jealousy is driven by low self-esteem; and that's right. People with quite high self-esteem can experience intense jealousy if they tend to feel they themselves must always be the centre of things. People like this tend to look at other people as material property. And maybe they just don't want to share that 'property', even as far as letting their partner innocently smile or socialize with another person. Perhaps as a kid they were a little spoilt.
But people are not objects or toys to be constantly guarded.
It might sound strange to say that jealousy is more about self-love than real love for another person, but jealousy does make us focus more on our own feelings than the feelings of the other person. Overcoming jealousy isn't about making your partner face the wall in restaurants or trying to prevent them ever looking at anyone else; it has to be about you managing your own emotions.
1 comment:
Well said, my man
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