Use somebody

Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I've sat in my room and cried, how many times I've lost hope, how many times I've been let down. Nobody knows how many times I've had to hold back the tears, how many times I've felt like I'm about to snap but don't just for the sake of others. Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head whenever I'm sad, how horrible they truly are. Nobody knows me.God knows.

I have been worrying about my future, studies for next year like what if I won't catch up? 
I'm scared like really anxious about everything that is ahead of me and It hasn't even come yet, why can't I just enjoy for a little while? I'm so sad and lonely, I could use somebody, sometimes I just hit myself to stop myself from thinking about it, then I cry.. Why am I even doing this to myself? I want to be happy I want to enjoy the holidays, but it seems that I can't.


To God:
I'm sorry I let you down so many times, I'm sorry that you can't count on me to do your will..


To People:
Sorry I have not been talking to you guys, I'm just spending to much time ALONE with myself


To me:
I'm sorry that I hurt you I'm sorry to let you down too, I should never give up at all,
It's going to be okay.

Message from GOD

You've been worrying too much about the future


lately. So tonight, go ahead, put your faith in God, and 


just have a peaceful evening and a restful sleep.




and 


I'm always here for you :) 

I could really use somebody