things you don't know about my Life

For all these years my problem has been my so called dad

I came from a broken family 

I don't have a good background

My dad hit my mom few years ago when I was a child 

He killed many living things even I did (my bunny rabbit) :(  (I didn't mean to)

how he beat Me and lil bro, you have no idea ..

how he beat my dog, you'll Never know , he shoots bb gun to my dog non-stop

and he will use his own hand to beat it as many times as possible

yeap, I admit I HATE MY DAD A LOT , 

but I have to love him cause his my dad and I'd always ask myself

WHY DO I HAVE A DAD LIKE THAT?? why god =/ I didn't mean too but Why?

I always cried in the back of the car when he call me crazy cause He is the one NOT ME

I tried to kill myself a lot of times, using the seat belt tying around my neck and my hand pulling it, I just did it just now, cause My dad almost hit a man and he said he should get hit and be dead and my mom argued about it,

how I wish I was dead , Death is more perfect than anything,

besides my dad, There is my grandma When i was 4 she baby sits me, I have to kneel down every day in front of the buddhist table holding my ears for 2 hours !

was force to eat chillies, cause I have no appetite of eating when I was young so I was very skinny, and get 2 slap left and right on the face for every morning I woke up cause I was crying when my mom had to leave me to go work, 

plus My aunt and dad and more had fights with my grandma and brothers, I still remember the blood on the floor 

sigh, 

wow Now I looked back I never thought I'm still here AND THINGS DOES NOT STOP HERE

There are many more bad things will come but there's always good times too :)

but every time I tried to kill myself, I've thought of It, 

I won't get this chance to live anymore..so I never did kill myself and I look up and look at the skies 

Asking God, 

If you were here Lord please speak out 

and then I smiled with tears in my eyes

when I fall down

and I will keep my heads up

no matter what

I will keep on dreaming :)

So dream, dream, dream. ♥